Patience - or lack of it!

I have always known that I struggle with patience. I've mentioned before that this cancer journey taught me to submit to God's will and to trust Him. Every once in a while I feel the old friend, impatience, rear its ugliness. I feel it when it is close, and I work hard to stop it from taking over my spirit.  I want to have the appointment with the doctor now, or I want to stop experiencing side effects now.  Occasionally, my lack of patience has served me well if it gives me the motivation to get what I need from the doctors, nurses, or pharmacy, but when I feel it turn in to anger, I know it's got to go...so I let it go. I've found that staying focused on my health, not wavering or forgetting what I've been through, motivates me to do what I must to do....exercise, exercise, eat right, and exercise some more! Friends, believe me, when the doctors say that exercise will help with the aches in the joints and your attitude - they are right! I'm getting on that darn treadmill every day -- whether it's for one mile or two, whether it's a run/walk or a just a walk. Patience....."Be still and know that I am God." I'm absolutely certain that God does not want me to be physically still, as in sitting around and letting things "just happen". Sure, I could take this year 'off' from work, exercise, activities...but I know that he wants me to work alongside Him in caring for this vessel he provided so the breast cancer never returns. "Being still" means not fighting His plan, and it means submitting to His plan. Knowing that he IS God, leaves no doubt that He is in control and present to me every moment.